Tag Archives: co-sleeping

Creating a Family Cohesive Environment for your Tot

While attending church, we have always gone to the building that allows children to attend with their parents, instead of opting for weekly childcare. When the church recently added a building for high schoolers to participate in a church service with their peers, that felt off to me.  Isn’t attending church a family event to do together, not separate?  Unless they are homeschooled, children are at daycare or school with peers, up to 5 days a week.  Why would a 6th day at church be an additional option or offering?  I’m definitely not the only one that feels this way, because I do see some small tots to high schoolers with their parents during the service.
 
Recently I was led to a very intriguing book titled, Hold on to your Kids by Gabor Mate’.  This book provides profound information on the reasons that children are most often choosing to bond to peer groups, rather than parents, as early as 8 years of age. The book also cites the detrimental outcomes of children’s confidence, emotional development and even vocabulary by having an allegiance to their peers.  The dramatic increase in peer bonding is a fairly recent occurrence in society.
 
To get a flavor of the in depth information in Gabor Mate’s book, listen to this eye opening talk on the basis of peer group orientation.  It is a topic typically brought up by parents who are disgruntled and exasperated, yet regretfully accept that their children avoid communication with them and only want to be with their friends.   The link below and his book give perspective on a behavior that is believed to be “normal” for children, but in reality it is not normal, nor is it optimal for child development.  
 
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Jeannie Lee Speaks about Being an Attachment Parent

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is being an Attachment Parent for everyone?  Find out here in Episode 3 of The Tot’s Cafe’s first season.  Jeannie Lee shares some great tips for parenting with ease.

Attachment Parenting with Jeannie Lee

We have had an informational interview with Jeannie Lee, a practicing Attachment Parent, who has inspired us with her Mothering ways.  This interview may change the way you are raising your children.

Watch the show on YouTube

Learn more about this really old method of raising children that is working better than today’s way of raising our tots.

Watch the show on Facebook

Confident Children through Attachment

Have you heard the term, “Attachment Parenting?”  Find out from Jeannie Lee, a successful Attachment Parent and The Tot’s Cafe interviews her to find out what success methods she and many others have used to raise their children.  We learn that by being an Attachment Parent, our children become more confident.

Watch the interview here on Monday, October 10 at 8:00 PST.
Can also catch this show on our Facebook Page

From the Womb to the Home

The Continuum Concept, written by Jean Liedloff, is a must read for any mother with small children. When I was planning for the arrival of my baby, I researched the most eco-friendly beds for new borns. I was drawn to a bed that had the ability to softly and gently rock. It was like a precious baby hammock.

After bringing Isabella home, I couldn’t imagine her sleeping in another room or apart from me. For all of her life her needs were automatically met. She had constant contact with me.  What a harsh and shocking greeting for her to to go from the womb to anything but being close to me all the time. The crib idea was completely tossed!

When Isabella was nearly four months, I heard about a book called the Continuum Concept by Jean Liedhoff. She spoke of her experience living with an Indian tribe in South America. She observed the calm and confidence of the children and noted the children co-slept and were carried from birth, until they chose otherwise. While being carried or kept close, they learned the workings and everyday living of the tribe. Breaking away to sleep on their own was the choice of the child. The author spoke of a child led attitude, such as the child being allowed to choose what felt comfortable and when (nursing, being carried, etc). This child led, not child focused, attitude very much encouraged the security and self-confidence of the child.

Ms Liedhoff writes that babies are authentic of their expression of needs and being left in a room alone crying is terrifying. The term “self-soothing”, is a more accurately translated as shutting down in fear or resigning to being ignored. She also writes of the long term effects into adulthood, such as insecurity, neediness, fear of abandonment, co-dependence, violence, and lack of compassion for humanity. Her conclusions were based on the cooperativeness, respectful attitudes, contribution and peacefulness of the children in the tribe. She also notes the children choose to contribute to the sustainability of the tribe without force, shame or being bribed.

After hearing her interview I immediately bought her book. I found it an eye opening and thought provoking read. All of the people that I have told about the book are grateful to have read it and gave them some valuable perspectives and ideas for raising their little ones.  The Tot’s Cafe puts this book at our top 10 of must reads.