Category Archives: Books

Creating a Family Cohesive Environment for your Tot

While attending church, we have always gone to the building that allows children to attend with their parents, instead of opting for weekly childcare. When the church recently added a building for high schoolers to participate in a church service with their peers, that felt off to me.  Isn’t attending church a family event to do together, not separate?  Unless they are homeschooled, children are at daycare or school with peers, up to 5 days a week.  Why would a 6th day at church be an additional option or offering?  I’m definitely not the only one that feels this way, because I do see some small tots to high schoolers with their parents during the service.
 
Recently I was led to a very intriguing book titled, Hold on to your Kids by Gabor Mate’.  This book provides profound information on the reasons that children are most often choosing to bond to peer groups, rather than parents, as early as 8 years of age. The book also cites the detrimental outcomes of children’s confidence, emotional development and even vocabulary by having an allegiance to their peers.  The dramatic increase in peer bonding is a fairly recent occurrence in society.
 
To get a flavor of the in depth information in Gabor Mate’s book, listen to this eye opening talk on the basis of peer group orientation.  It is a topic typically brought up by parents who are disgruntled and exasperated, yet regretfully accept that their children avoid communication with them and only want to be with their friends.   The link below and his book give perspective on a behavior that is believed to be “normal” for children, but in reality it is not normal, nor is it optimal for child development.  
 

Fast Food Reading Enjoyment

ImageAre you a parent that is surprised by the language in children’s books?  When we go to the library or bookstore, my lil one wants me to read whatever she grabs off the shelf and I end up changing a lot of what is actually written.  Even though the book ultimately ends in “Happily Ever After”, many of the children’s fiction books are filled with expressions of lack, limiting beliefs, victim/villain, bullying, sarcasm, self-consciousness over appearance expressed, and more.  Even a subscription to Highlights, that was a gift,  has stories that make me cringe and are edited when read them to my tot.  I know I won’t be able to continue my real time editing techniques much longer. She will soon be reading the words, rather than reciting what I read to her.

When I took a homeschooling course at the Institute for the Achievement of Human Potential, they advocated putting together homemade books with stories of the child’s experiences.  They could include family events, family pet, a vacation experience or even a day at the park.  The books can be a short story that describes the photos showing the child having a great time at the pool, swimming and splashing with friends.  The homemade books can be tailored to your child’s age and interests. My daughter loves these personalized books more than any others.

Recently I found a great book at the library called Fast Food by Joost Elffers. It’s cute and colorful and is about different modes of transportation. What makes this book unique is that the photos of the transportation vehicles are all made out of fruit and vegetables.  It is very clever and may even inspire your child to have a stronger affinity towards fruit and vegetables.

Naomi Aldort Speaking on Well-Behaved Children

Have you seen this show with the wonderful Naomi Aldort?  She is one of our favorite authors who wrote, “Raising Children, Raising Ourselves.”  Not only did we learn a ton about our childhood during this interview, Naomi also shared best practices on disciplining our own children.  The is worth the watch!
From The Tot’s Cafe Show (Season 1 Episode 2)

 

 

 

 

Link to Video: http://www.youtube.com/totscafe

Episode 4- Praise and Rewards with Tracy Roberts

Season 1, Episode 4  PRAISE & REWARDS
Are you ready to hear things that may be a surprise to you? In this interview with Tracy, she gives us rich information on the effects and outcomes of giving rewards.  We also find out why parents feel its okay to overpraise children.  Based on the findings of Alfie Kohn, Author of Punished by Rewards


WATCH EPISODE 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItoLWBQkhpg

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Having Well-Behaved Children without Discipline with Naomi Aldort

Here it is!  The Tot’s Cafe Show brings an exclusive interview with Naomi Aldort, with her progressive way to parenting in which children become confident, considerate, and successful adults. Naomi Aldort is the Author of Raising Children Raising Ourselves.  Today’s show is discussing the topic of How to Have Well-Behaved Children without Discipline.

Link to Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoa4bABCY7E

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Is Discipline Necessary

On October 3rd at 8:00am PST, the Tot’s Cafe Show interviews Naomi Aldort, Author of Raising Children, Raising Ourselves.  We get an exclusive interview on a Progressive Approach to parenting and it does not include what we Westerners call “Discipline.”

In this show we talk about the effectiveness of the Time-Outs, how to create a “Love House,” and relating to our children with respect.

Naomi Aldort Leading the Way

During our interview with Naomi, she had mentioned that the parents must be the leader not the child as it is so often confused with the Child-Led philosophy.

Naomi sums it up in her video, “You Are The Leader.”  Are you the leader or is your child?

You are the Leader video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPOXyiDkZf8

The exclusive interview with Naomi will be available on Monday, October, 3 at 8:00am PST.  Can find the video on our Facebook page and here on this site.  http://www.TheTotsCafe.com.