I just heard about a book titled ‘Raising Children, Raising Ourselves”, by Naomi Aldort. Her book sub-title says, ‘Transforming parent-child relationships from reaction and struggle to freedom, power and joy’. I’ve seen it referred to and highly recommended many times on the Continuum Concept forum that I’ve subscribed to for about a year.
The wonderful suggestions and perspectives that Naomi Aldort offers has made me very excited to dive into her book. I found the answers to support my child in times that some parents (for example my parents) might choose from a variety of commonly used cooperation or control tactics that include force, fear, intimidation, threats, bribing, punishment, withdrawl, guilt, shame or humiliation in order to discipline or control a child. This book offers a healthy and forwarding perspective. A parent’s use of Naomi’s methods teach the child to respond positively when things arent going their little way! Wow…makes complete sense! That was an eye opener to read. Even with the well intended desire of not wanting to spoil the child or the parent not wanting to be seen as a push-over to the child, Naomi Aldort presents wonderful empowering suggestions that support the parent and the child’s needs are being met. The result is the knowing that the parent is the trusted leader.
Just today when we were leaving church, my 2 year old refused to get into the car. There were cars leaving the parking lot so it was pretty busy. She ran from the stroller and then from the car, a couple of times, and she thought it was funny. I was concerned about the cars leaving and out of that concern grabbed her from the pavement and put her in the car. She proceeded to try to make her way back out and was clearly voicing her opposition of me putting her in the car. In retrospect, from the learning I got from this book, I could have instead have seen if she was open to hand holding/sitting in the stroller and going back to the church grounds to run around for awhile. Then when it was less busy, put her in the car, not putting her there against her will. If that didn’t work, then putting her in the way I did could have been Plan B.
It is times like these that are challenging and confusing. I really desire a mutually pleasant outcome. Since she was so upset the outcome for me was concern and frustration. I wasn’t thinking creatively and all I could focus on was the immediate danger of the cars pulling out of the parking lot. Perhaps my first choice was best when considering our surroundings. It just wasn’t pleasant for either one of us.
Naomi also covers the topic of praise or applauding a child. That surely got my attention. From the start I’ve wanted Isabella to do things out of sheer joy, not to please anyone. Well, you will experience this book for yourself and let us know the tips your received that worked well with your children. It will provide more great ideas of supporting my little one. I am very excited to share more experiences I have obtained from this amazing book. I look forward to all of you reading Ms. Aldort’s book as it has been eye opening for me.